It’s been less than a month since I last blogged, but it feels like such a long time. So much have happened in between. Actually, so much have happened within the past week too. Time passes quite slowly when I’m working. There’s so much I want to log down, but so little time. I guess this blogpost, I’ll focus more on my relationship with Jet.
Jet and I decided to try for another balloting for a HDB. This time, if we get it, we’ll be able to move in straight away. This also means we’ll get married right away. Last year in November, we tried for a BTO flat in Bedok, but the number was huge. Now I think the huge number was sort of a blessing in disguise (more on that later).
Well, we’re trying for SBF kallang and our plan is to actually to keep trying to ballot a flat until we get one or until 2019, whichever comes first. This time feels different because this time I feel so much more at ease compared to previously. I feel so much more at peace balloting for this even though our chances are very small this time. I don’t know, it feels right. Maybe it’s because we walked around the entire night around the kallang neighbourhood (omg my legs died) or because this time it feels more concrete and tangible (the flats are built already).
So we have two applications running concurrently (the bedok one and the kallang one) and I hope the Bedok one doesn’t call us soon because if they call us and we reject, we’re considered 2nd timers with lesser chance. However, if the kallang one ballots before the bedok one calls us down to select a flat, we are still considered 1st timers. So I really am thankful the bedok number was huge enough and I’m hoping that they don’t call us to select the flat too soon! Whatever it is, I’m leaving this in God’s hands. I think He has good plans for us and I’ll just trust Him.
2 days ago, I proposed to Jet. Haha, I realize I haven’t recorded it on this blog about his proposal at Disneyland to me yet (I’ll do it soon). I have been planning this proposal wayyy long ago and wasn’t planning to do it so soon, but because I wanted to get him something, I had to bring it forward. Haha. He was surprised and touched hehe. I regret not recording it even though he asked me if I wanted to (when he realized it was a proposal). I decided that I wanted to just be in the moment and remember it for the rest of my life.
I think our relationship has progressed very quickly in a short span of time. I hesitate to use the word “progress” because I don’t really see it as such. Maybe I would say, our relationship has added layers. I think it’s the best feeling in the world to feel like you’re in this together with your favourite teammate. There’s a sense of safety. It’s exciting to be working together to build a future together, be it saving together for our future (we started a savings plan), or planning for our house or planning how many kids we want etc etc. It’s a great feeling when you use the word “we” instead of just “I”. some people might say, don’t get a savings plan together because what if you break-up/divorce. But isn’t that what love is? Taking chances, having your lives intertwined?
How do you tell someone you want them in your life forever when you don’t include them in the planning of your future?
Recently, I feel this tangible deeper understanding of each other and our relationship. I feel like I can just look at him and he’ll just know. I’m not sure what it is that makes me feel this way.
It’s also in the little things that make me confident in our relationship. The small things he does just to show me he loves me. Like trying to prepare a spoon that contains the perfect combination of noodles, soup, meat and then blowing it to make sure it isn’t too hot before he gives it to me to try whatever he’s having. It’s peeling prawns before I even ask him to or ordering all my favourite food even for himself so I can “pinch” some of his. It’s messaging me every morning and randomly telling me he loves me during the day.
It’s a nice feeling. Feeling safe in someone else’s arms, knowing there’s a future you both want and will work hard together for.
2.5 more months before the results are out and I really hope we get it. *cross fingers*