Life has been pretty hectic recently and there haven’t really been a time for me to sit down and recollect my thoughts. That day during counselling psych, I suddenly remembered about something that I had written many years ago. During one of my darkest moments in my life, I thought to myself, “What if I die one day and all that I’ve ever experienced or known is sadness and fear?”
Sometimes I’ve gotten so used to this comfortableness that I’ve forgotten how it was like before. I was talking to the bestie the other day and then suddenly I felt silly for ever being afraid to be in a relationship. But then again, I guess it’s the right person that makes all the difference.
Life definitely looks different when you got someone who wants to be there (sometimes, very literally) through the tough moments. Nothing looks too bleak when you’ve got someone holding your face up with his two hands and forcing you to look into his eyes (his very small eyes hahaha) so that he can remind you that things aren’t all that bad. So I thank God for him everyday. I thank God for that pair of arms that can bury me in an embrace and make me feel safe. I thank God that there’s someone who always knows the right words to say.
The little thing he does like waiting for me after class every friday night, wanting to accompany to every small or big appointment, turning up with little surprises, squeezing every time out possible to spend time with me or choosing all my favourite flavours when we eat ice-cream… these little things mean so much to me. They mean more than grand gestures because these are the everyday things. These things require constant effort. It requires thoughtfulness.
There’s nothing like knowing you always got someone standing on your side and rooting for you. I honestly have never thought that I will find someone who would do anything within his power just to see me smile. I also never thought I’ll find someone who I would do anything within my power to see happy. We’re so gonna be resilient sunflowers together. The next few weeks will be crazy, but I think there’s nothing we can’t do together.
It’s been close to 11 months. Thanks for making this the best 11 months of my life 😀