The month is ending and many things are coming to an end. It seems like Airlee (my lappy) knows and she has decided to die without warning. I’m currently typing this on the bf’s laptop that he has decided to give me instead. It’s the new macbook and I’m not used to the keys and the feeling of the entire machine. I feel like I was forcefully ripped away from my airlee and thrust into this newness – a very apt analogy of my life right now.
So end of last month, I got my final results and I’m on my way to graduating! My thesis did wayyy better than I had expected and I’m satisfied with my results overall. (Yaye, more about graduation some other time).
End of last month, I also got the news that I had gotten my “dream job”. After 4-5 long months, it is finally final. I gave my one month’s notice and this Friday (end of this month) will be my last day at my current job. It was a surreal feeling finally getting the letter of offer in the mail. I was talking to Xiao Tian and he was suggested that this was my calling. I never really thought of it like that, but yes, at this point of time it feels right and it feels like it is really my calling.
My job search journey has been nothing short of exciting and nerve-wrecking and I’m glad it has come to an end.
In Feb, I had gotten an offer to work at… let’s just call it ‘A’ at the same time I was through to the next round for place ‘B’ and for place ‘C’. All these three places were places that I really wanted to try. To have an openings for the specific project/job scope at the places I wanted to work at was already a miracle, to be called back by all three was a bigger miracle.
When ‘A’ offered me, I thought of letting go of ‘B’ and ‘C’. But after some thought, I felt like I really wanted ‘B’. It had been my dream job for the past 1-2 years and I really wanted to give it a shot. At the same time, if I didn’t get it, I’ll be losing a really good job that I was also interested in at ‘A’.
I prayed about it and the feeling was very odd. I was at peace for both A and B, less so for C. I felt God was telling me not to fear and go for B because He promised me I’ll get it, but at the same time I felt God telling me to go for ‘A’ as well. I didn’t really get it, what did He want me to do. B told me that the process to confirm me would take up to 6 months to a year, so I couldn’t ask A to hold.
I remember being so torn. My idea was to take up A first and if B fell through, at least I had a back-up. But it also meant I had to quit if I had gotten B and decided to take it up. It didn’t feel right. Everyone told me to just take A up first and then quit later. They told me not to tell A I was looking for another job because they’ll not take me/they won’t develop me if they do take me in. But it honestly didn’t feel right.
I prayed again and called ‘A’ up. I wanted to be honest, so I told them I was keen to take up this job, but at the same time I had a job that if I didn’t try, I will regret for the rest of my life. I asked them if they were comfortable taking me in and if they weren’t then I would politely decline their offer. God really came through for me because after some discussion, they decided to take me in, even though I had such a weird request.
It was a risk I took and I remember shivering when talking on the phone to the boss. It was a very good job and the fear of being jobless if they didn’t take me up on my offer was very real too. However, I remember thinking I didn’t want to start my career on a lie and I wanted to do what I felt was right.
So I started work. They made concessions for me for my first 2 months since I was still studying. They let me work part time for my first two months until I finished school. The people there were nice and I learnt a lot. I also decided I wanted to Foster in the future. I learnt about trauma-informed care. I learnt the pains of internet separation. I’ve learnt how good leadership looked like.
During my time there, I went for the different rounds of interview at ‘B’ and ‘C’ too. ‘C’ is somewhat similar to ‘B’ and people have told me that ‘C’ was more prestigious than ‘B’. At my second interview at ‘C’, I was immediately given an ‘offer’, subjected to normal proceedings, for the position I wanted. Two days later, B called and offered me a position too.
I prayed and decided that B was where I felt most at peace. I told my superiors at work and they were supportive. It was then when I was so glad that I had told them the truth right from the start. If I hadn’t, it would’ve been horrible. The work at ‘A’ is okay, colleagues are great and the culture is good (pay is also good haha), but it just don’t feel like where I am supposed to be at right now.
I still don’t know clearly the reason why God had asked me to work at ‘A’ either, but feel like this isn’t going to be in vain. These 3 months although short has its meaning, even if I do not see it yet. I can, with good conscience, say that I had given my best in this 3months and contributed in my own way to the organisation and now am ready to leave.
I will finally be getting my break since… 2014. Everyone is going on grad trips and whatnot, but I’m going to take this break to really recharge, regroup and re-everything to get ready for the next phase of life.
I am excited and nervous at the same time for my next job. I heard it’s stressful and demanding, but I’m so ready to learn. I’m thankful for getting this job. I am thankful for the small events that added up to make getting this job possible. It was really many small coincidences and things. I am thankful for the people that helped me. Thankful for the supportive friends (esp Gary and Rachel). Thankful for the boyfriend for dealing with my crazy paranoia and constantly reassuring me throughout this journey. I also am very thankful for this life partner for supporting me to do what I think (and he thinks) is right and honest.
I think I’ve learnt to trust God in one other part of my life (work) and He has been with me throughout this job search process. Excited for what is to come (: